This is one of those posts I’ve been sitting on for a few weeks now. I’m having a hard time hitting publish but I also know those are the moments we grow and challenge ourselves. It’s not always easy to put it out there instead of keeping it within my own little bubble. There’s something about hitting publish that makes it become more of a reality. As I sit here with my eyes filled with tears, I’ve already erased what I’ve typed out twice. I’m not sure what direction I want this post to go in, or how it will actually turn out, but I’m just going to roll with it and open up my heart.
I share this not to look for sympathy, but to ask for your prayers and support through this time as we find out more about what we can expect. We will be meeting with surgeons to find out an approximate time frame for surgery (which I’m under the impression won’t happen until around 6 months or so) and if it could be just one surgery or if it will need to be multiple. Unfortunately a lot of our questions won’t be answered until he’s actually here. I ask that you pray for me in my moments of weakness, for strength, for guidance, and that I will be the best mother I can be to my boys. For A and little nugget, that this will be a teachable moment for them to always show love and kindness even when others around us may look different. It can feel like such a catch 22 sometimes and such a faith struggle (if that’s even a thing). Of course we are also praying and hoping for a medical miracle but at the same time I need to mentally prepare myself for what we could be faced with.
I also share this in case it might speak to or help someone else going through a tough time. Sometimes you never really know what’s going on with someone until you put it out there. Pregnancy is such a beautiful gift and a great blessing, but it can also be an incredibly trying and scary time. As much as I know that we aren’t supposed to be fearful, we are also human and perfectly imperfect. It makes me realize even more that even though my baby boy may have a physical deformity, he is still created perfect in every way and will be so loved.