I’m not referring to just a casual visit with my sister or one of my friends wanting to pick him up and hold him. My struggle seems to be with all of these first experiences with him. You know, first Christmas, Easter, first visit to the zoo, first time at the beach. I can’t even imagine how I am going to be on his first birthday. I like to think that I don’t make it too obvious that it’s bothering me. I do let people hold him and pass him around, but internally I’m sad to hand him over. I know everyone wants to share in the joy but I guess I just wish that people would realize these are also our first experiences with him too. Ok, this probably sounds pretty bad right?
I’m really not trying to be selfish nor do I want to be, but this has been a little bit of a struggle for me. I never thought I would be this way since sharing was never an issue. I think because this is a new feeling for me it’s also making the situation harder. I want to be able to teach my son to share, not only materialistic things, but love, experiences and emotions with others. I know I can’t keep him all to myself but for some reason these first experiences really hit me hard. I find myself wanting to give him an extra hug or wanting to take just one more picture with him during these special times.
“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God” Hebrews 13:6.
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” Philippians 2:3-4.