With only 7 weeks left until baby number 2 gets here (how did that go by so fast), there are things with both of my pregnancies that I (Sierra) have been asked or comments made that just kind of make me cringe. Before I was pregnant I could very well be guilty of some of these (maybe this is pay back). I’m sure that no one means anything intentionally, but there really are some comments that people should just avoid saying. I’m sharing some of my thoughts and experiences and why we should all think before we speak. Especially when there’s pregnancy hormones involved.
Now these comments might not bother other pregnant women and that’s fine, but not all of us want to hear these things.
Side story, I was down to my final weeks of pregnancy with my first son and a woman at my work just happened to be the lucky third person of the day to say this phrase. I guess I must have looked exceptionally large that day. Yes, that had to be it, right? Anyway, I kindly said to her, I’m going to pop? No, corn kernels pop. I’m about to have a baby any day now. So give birth, yes. Pop, nope that’s not physically possible.
Belly Touching: This is neither a comment or a question. In my experience people just dive right in! With my first pregnancy I was so shocked at the amount of people who went in for a belly rub that I almost smacked the first few hands out of the way. Hey now, I didn’t know exactly what they were grabbing for. I don’t lean in and rub your body parts so please don’t touch mine.
Oh, Well I Figured Because You Were Pregnant: Yes, some women have difficult pregnancies and aren’t able to do the things they used to, but don’t just assume because someone is pregnant that you count them out. We still want to feel invited and know we are being thought of. Let us make the decision if we can attend or not. The same goes for people who don’t have kids yet. Don’t assume that your friends with kids can’t do things. Still invite them. You might make their day and they might jump at the thought of having a night out.
What Sign Is The Baby: I’ve never really been in to the whole sign thing but can respect other people’s beliefs and cultures. Some people really take this thing to another level though. I was in the grocery store during my first pregnancy minding my own business. As I reached for a package of napkins a woman approached me and asked when I was due. I told her my due date which I guess happened to be on the cusp of two different signs. She proceeded to say oh well I hope he comes on this date or after because they have the best temperament, and the moon aligns with something or other. Let’s hope he doesn’t come before this date because he will be a handful and hard to get along with. Really lady? I just smiled and said thank you for your opinion but I believe that my Lord and Savior, the very one who created the moon and stars, has a plan for my child regardless of the date he is born.
What You Can Do For A Pregnant Woman: Instead of all of the odd questions and comments what you can do is encourage and be a support to her. Every woman might feel different about her pregnancy and every pregnancy she experiences will be different. Thoughtfulness goes a long way. Just letting her know you are thinking of her or rephrasing some of these questions can make a big difference. With my first pregnancy so many of my friends reached out and really made me feel special. Now with my second it’s just different. And that’s ok. I still have a great support system with the friends who do show they care. Try to remember this is a time of change for a woman, both mentally and physically.
Have you had someone make a comment while you were pregnant that just rubbed you the wrong way?
Have you been the person to make a comment to a pregnant woman that you probably shouldn’t have said?