The past few weeks it seems like my boys have been sick off and on which has really limited us to being able to do a lot. On a good note, the slower pace has been nice for a change. I guess in between dealing with cleanup duty, I’ve had some time to sit around and think while everyone’s laid out on the couch watching paw patrol. I have all of these goals and self reflections that keep popping into my head.
I shared the above picture on my instagram last week because as much as we have so much fun and enjoy all of our adventures together, there are days where it is not easy. Having two under two was no walk in the park, but at the same time, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I’m thankful early on as a mother I was able to accept that things aren’t perfect, life with kids is messy, and even when you think you have something figured out, usually one of them throws a monkey wrench in there and you need to adapt all over again.
I’m sharing what’s helped me as a mom, and when you think about it, we’re all in this together and can learn a thing or two from each other.
1. Give Yourself Grace:
this has been the biggest one for me and such a weight lifted off of my shoulders when I accepted that perfection doesn’t exists. Let me rephrase that, I never really strived for perfection, but I think when you have an idea of motherhood in your head and it doesn’t go as planned, you need to give yourself grace. Before I had kids, I thought I had this parenting concept in the bag. I would look at other kids and think, not-ah, that won’t be my kid. I will not be a mom who takes my kid to McDonald’s, my kids are going to have cute clothes, and they are going to use their manners always. Ha! Oh, silly me. Sometimes momming can catch up to you and you need to reminder yourself that we’re all human and grace is a beautiful thing.
2. Build Your Confidence as a Mom:
there are some people that are really gifted and great with kids no matter what the situation is. I’m sure being a kid whisperer must be a thing, right? I have friends who are teachers and some that have psychology degrees, and I would think, if I just knew a little bit more about dealing with kids maybe I could master this whole mom thing. What I’ve come to learn is, regardless of your background, you know what’s best for your child and are a master in your own way. If you are confident in your abilities as a parent, it will switch your whole outlook and allow you to handle situations differently and utilize what works best for you.
3. Trust Your Instincts:
it’s going to be a reoccurring thing over here with me saying you know your kid best, because I truly believe that. When it comes to them not feeling well, grasping certain things, or displaying odd behaviors, trust your gut.
4. Learn How To Ask For Help:
this should seem like an easy one but you would be surprised at some people who are just not able to swallow their pride. I don’t think it makes you any less of a person if you reach out to someone and say, I can’t do it today or can you please help. In fact, I applaud you for that. It’s ok to admit that on some days we might need an extra hand or a few minutes to just step away. In the end, it’s usually beneficial for everyone involved.
5. Learn How To Say I’m Sorry:
this has also been a big one for me. I don’t intentionally do it but I’ve been guilty of automatically assuming that my older son has been the trouble maker in some of their toddler scuffles. I mean, knocking over someone’s Lego castle that they worked hard on is not cool. I’ve been in the other room preparing dinner and heard cries coming from down the hall. Little nugget will run to me and without hearing the full story I’ve been quick to want to put A on a time-out. After I slowdown and hear the whole story I’ve had to apologize several times for my own actions and mistakes as a parent. I think it’s so important for our children to hear when we are sorry and admit our mistakes.
6. Downtime Goals:
it’s important to also figure out a way to work in some downtime for yourself. This is something I have to remind myself of frequently because usually when I sit down I’m thinking about the three baskets of laundry in my room that I have yet to get to and still working on my superpowers to blink and magically make them go away. I always feel better after a cup of hot tea, lighting a scented candle, putting my phone away and catching up on one of my shows.
7. Learn How To Laugh:
some days I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, sometimes both, or maybe even at the same time. There’s a reason why we’re taught a cheerful heart is good like a medicine. I can’t say we’re like this all the time, and I don’t want to come off like a mom who laughs at her kids when they are upset, that’s not the case. But sometimes, they come out with the silliest excuse to things, like how they can’t pick up their toys because their legs don’t work. You can’t help but laugh or you might drive yourself crazy. I also think a smile is contagious. If one of us starts smiling or laughing it creates a ripple effect and everyone ends up in a better mood.
Here’s to laughing, crying, saying I’m sorry, being confident and giving ourselves grace. You got this, mama!