Hello, friends. Where do I even begin? I’d love to ask you all how you are feeling, but I know this uncertainty in our world has brought all of us so many emotions that are constantly changing, most of it depends on the day.
Our lives have all been flipped upside down with so many unknowns upon us, and still more to come. We’ve gone from parents to now school teachers, counselors for our kids, support systems for our families, work from home managers, and everything else in between. Our roles are constantly changing and shifting focus depending on the priorities at hand, and don’t forget, we also need to take care of ourselves as well.
This past month has been something else to say the least. It’s been tough, exciting, rewarding, and defeating all at the same time. How can a span of such a short amount of time come with so many emotions? I wonder about it all the time. And then, at the same time, I try to tackle each day as it comes. Some are better than others. And that’s ok. Life comes with the good and the bad, and I’m pretty sure we’re all experiencing some form of that.
I decided to step away from consistently posting on here for a few weeks for several reasons. For starters, right before things got super crazy with COVID-19 my sweet mother in-law passed away. It feels weird to have to mention that it wasn’t virus related, but in the times we are living in, that’s what we’re up against. Life continues to show us it’s full of uncertainties and you never know what can happen next. The long and short of it is, she went into the hospital in February with many unknowns, she had so many tests, medications, and doctors working hard to come up with a solution. It begin to be multiple things and unfortunately a month later she was called home. I was so thankful my brother in-laws were able to catch a flight out from Cali to all be with her at the time. Things were just changing with visitation rights, and thankfully my father in-law was able to speak with the head of nursing and allow them to all be with her. It breaks my heart to hear all of them talk about how much they miss her and will never be able to hug her again. She had three boys as well, and to see all of them come together and the love and support they all have for each other, is such a testament to the kind of woman she was. The next few days brought rapid change in our country and guideline changes. We went from being able to have 50 people at a funeral to only allowing 10 and the rest was streamed live for other family members to see. It felt odd, and unnatural to grieve someone this way, yet we understood the reasoning behind it. In hindsight, we are thankful a funeral was even able to take place, because after hers, the funeral homes stopped having them. I know so many people around us are losing loved ones and having to experience different situations of navigating this time, just know that my heart goes out to you. Our hope is that we can hold a memorial service for her at a later date when things are safe again and honor the legacy she left behind. We’re at peace knowing she is walking alongside Jesus and reunited with other family members, but there’s still a void in our hearts for not having her here with us.
During that time blogging felt unnatural to me. I needed to heal and focus my attention on being there for family. I always said I wanted this space to be fun for me, an outlet to share about our lives, our adventures, our projects, whatever really comes to mind. But in those moments of chaos ensuing the world around us, it felt insensitive for me to share more about our trips (we canceled our spring break trip and at this point have no clue if we will be going away for our 10 year anniversary), a new outfit (as I sit around in comfy clothes), or products I found online. I know not everyone views it that way, and that’s ok, but for me I needed to step away. As much as I was hoping for distractions and things to keep us occupied, I had an internal struggle with what I wanted to share here. So I didn’t. I started receiving countless emails from other bloggers who were grasping at straws. They became so niche specific with plummeting numbers due to a shift in focus and it felt like they were throwing any type of content out to keep traffic coming. It just seemed, wrong. This isn’t to bash anyone, but again for me, it didn’t feel right. I’m all about supporting others and cheering other bloggers on, but we all have a lot of different feelings coming through lately, and if something doesn’t feel right to you, that’s ok. There are countless businesses and people affected by these changes that we’re all having to navigate new normals and work through emotions.
We’ve officially been home since the week of March 16th, but my husband has been working from home since the beginning of March. I’m so thankful his job was one of the first to tell their employees to stay home. While it’s only been several weeks, the days seem to be very long and we’re doing our best, which I think that’s all we can do at this point. It’s so important to stay home and help to flatten the curve so that others aren’t at risk. It makes me so upset when others aren’t taking this seriously while others haven’t left their house in weeks. We have had the chance to enjoying some time outside in our yard when the weather has been nicer, which has been a hug mood booster for us. I don’t think we’ve ever been so thankful for where we live at the moment. I know many people in big cities aren’t able to get outside at this time, and I can imagine how difficult that must feel.
We’re trying to focus as much as we can on our boys school work and also provide them a sense of security and all the love. We’re appreciating the slower pace and extra time we have with them. We are making some great memories which is a positive that’s come out of this. Oh, and snacking! My word all the snacking they like to do. Well, not just them, chips and hummus have been my weakness. In the time of me typing out this post, I’ve already had to stop twice to get my boys snacks and juice boxes. I’m so thankful I can still order a lot of their snacks online and not have to go out into the stores.
Through all of this we’re continuing to put our trust in God that somehow all of this will be ok. I know there have been other countries on complete lockdown for much longer and I can only hope and pray all of this starts to work itself out soon. If you’re still with me, thank you for reading. I look forward to connecting with all of you again and navigating these new normals through uncertainty together.