Hi there, friend. I hope you had a nice weekend. I know this subject and day of celebration can be a hard thing for some people to read. I want to be respectful of knowing that this day can bring up hard feelings for anyone who is praying and patiently waiting to become a mother, has strained relationships, or missing someone on this day. At the same time, I want to share our moments, my thoughts, and maybe somehow a source of encouragement for someone who might need it.
I’ve never really needed or wanted anything over the top for mother’s day. My number one thing has always been taking a day off from cooking and not having to worry about that (anyone else love a day off from cooking and doing dishes?). My mom mentioned the only time she had ever been to a winery was for my wedding reception, so my sister and I thought it would be fun to take her for mother’s day.
A quick side story, the night before mother’s day, my sister and I were going over to my mom’s (Ha, I feel like I should run with this and do a twist on the night before Christmas) to have dinner with her. As I was driving over, my mind started wandering.
Last year on mother’s day we announced we were having another baby, so I really wasn’t sure how I was going to feel this year after two back to back losses. At the same time, we’re in a really good place and it’s hard to be sad when we have so many blessings right in front of us. That still won’t change the fact that pieces of our hearts will forever be missing, but we are at peace.
Anyway, back to my point. As I was driving a song came on my pandora that I was hearing for the first time by an artist, KB. It was a remake of vertical worships, Yes I Will, which has been a song that has helped me through a lot. Well, as I’m listening to the song I hear him say a lyric that says, “you have my baby, and you won’t miscarry me. When it’s so hard to believe, I hear You singing.” I almost slammed on my breaks. Say what?! Did I just hear that right (I did google it once I got to my mom’s to make sure). Ok, God. I get it, you’re here for me and I’m listening. I don’t really believe in coincidences, so I know that was meant for me at that moment. I also struggled with if I should share this or not, but I feel a tugging at my heart and I’m not sure if anyone else needed to hear that.
So back to mother’s day. The weather here has been extremely up and down with a lot more chilly days than nicer days. I’m kind of getting more fall feels lately than spring vibes. We knew we would be outside and figured we would play it by ear. I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time we didn’t have perfect weather. Thankfully when we first got there we had some warmth and sunshine to enjoy.
We got to admire the vines that surrounded us and the company beside us. The boys found a cat that was meandering around that kept their attention for most of the time.
Since my sister was with us, Eric and I tried to sneak off to take advantage of having her snap a few pics of us. Well that last all of about a minute until we found ourselves getting photobombed by our silly guys.
Eric started skipping away and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. I know that mother’s day was also different for him with his mom no longer here with us. I will be forever grateful for her raising an amazing son who loves me and our boys more than anything. Who is strong, yet caring, and a man that I can skip through life with.
I shared this on my instagram, how the rest of the day reminded me a lot of how motherhood can feel at times. Motherhood isn’t always easy. It can go from beautiful sunshine, to the clouds rolling in, and even times when we get rained on. But through it all, we never stop loving, we never stop laughing (even sometimes laughing and crying at the same time), and we never stop being there for our family.
