Ever since I was a little girl, I remember looking at sunflowers and feeling happiness. There’s something about those big bright yellow petals that feel almost impossible to look at and not want to smile.
My dad had a few really tall sunflowers planted along side our house when I was growing up (I now know those are called mammoth sunflowers). There was a cardinal that would come every morning and land on them to pick out and eat the seeds. It always fascinated me to sit and watch this bright beautiful cardinal against the shining yellow petals.
Let’s fast forward to last year. We had plans at the beginning of the year to redo the front part of our property to design a space to be able to watch the sunset. We always had plans to plant a sunflower field up there as well. With some minor setbacks to our pavilion area (we all know how crazy 2020 was), we started planting at the beginning of June with hopes of some early fall blooms. Did you know most sunflowers take 60-90 days to bloom? Our planting timelines were quickly put on hold when we found out we lost our baby girl at 21 weeks. We decided even with everything we endured we would continue planting them later on throughout the summer and would now have them as a memorial as well. Those first blooms were sporadic, but oh so beautiful.
Now let’s rewind to the beginning of this year (sorry, I know there’s a lot of back and forth here). Unfortunately we lost another baby girl at 14 weeks. There are no answers or reasons for why either of our girls are not with us, but they will forever be in our hearts as we continue to put our faith in God’s plan for our family.
Even though we would have planted these sunflowers regardless, they now hold an even greater meaning for us. We hope to get better at planting them each year and learning more as we go.
A lot of you have asked us how large is the area that we planted, we don’t know for sure. We haven’t exactly measure it, but, the guesstimate from us (and others) is that it’s around 1/4 to 1/2 an acre of space. Many have also asked if we’ll expand the area. We aren’t sure yet. We love exactly where they are at, but you never know.
Weeds have been something we haven’t been able to combat, and spraying herbicides isn’t something we really want to do. The chemical component has never sat well with me, especially since my boys and us frolic through here often. With that being said, it’s not a perfectly manicured field, and I’m ok with that. It comes with character and kind of reflects our family—perfectly imperfect. I noticed the sunflowers that grew patchy or sporadic throughout the field always seemed to grow in pairs. It might sound silly, but seeing the pairs together are a peaceful reminder knowing that my girls are together with our heavenly father until we can meet again one day.
These beautiful bright blooms bring us nothing but happiness and a sense peace. I get to see my three amazing boys running and playing through them as I’m continually reminded of God’s goodness and promises.
Seeing my boys blow bubbles and laughing with each other fills my heart with so much joy. I get to clip these sunflowers and have them all throughout my house. I get to share them with our family, neighbors, and friends that want to be there and share in these moments with us. I also get to share these pictures and parts of my heart with you, and that makes me happy. If this somehow touches someone who needs a bit of encouragement, then hitting publish on this makes it even more worth it.